your love is like bad medicine Mar 13, 2008 0:42:40 GMT -5
Post by xxx sorrow on Mar 13, 2008 0:42:40 GMT -5
I was the opposite of the one who loved me. I guess one might wonder how that may work properly without conflict. I had a simple explanation for this. Unconditional love. I had to wonder why he could love me when I was ever so cruel in the past, but he probably had his own reasons. Its not that I wanted to hurt someone like him, but I really had no choice. My mind was simply a timebomb, any moment it could go off. When it did it was no good, but the true explosion was still yet to come, this I knew, and I feared the day it would. I only hoped that Revenge would not be my victim, nor there to witness it. When I hurt him it took a knife to my very own heart.
I was in the middle of a break down, though it was for reasons unknown, I was none the less giving up on everything once more. I didn’t really have any reasons for this, it was all in the many twisted turn of events that acted like an earthquake on my life. It shook up and jumbled everything. It often left me speechless, just standing there wondering where my life had really gone, and maybe I would wake up from my nightmare one day and find everything was just as it used to be.
I would have given Revenge all of my heart, but it had been torn apart so many times. It would have been oh so simple, so many time I could have ended it all. I couldn't even remember how many times I stood at a cliffs edge, facing death, and yet, how could I be so selfish as to commit suicide? I couldn't. It would be rather stupid really, to be so selfish that I would kill myself just because I felt bad where as there may be some with lives much worse then my own out there, I really did disgust myself, a monster was truly what I had become, and I was ashamed of it. Not that I would ever tell of my suicidal thoughts, they were a thing of the past like so many others. Not to say such things were frequently crossing my mind but I was fairly certain I would not do such a stupid thing, though I was capable, I would remain from doing such things, I wouldn't give the d**ned creatures of my past the satisfaction of truly breaking me to a point of no return, I would stand strong, for now anyways, should I let go and go nuts, so be it.
His interest in me was truly confusing, there were so many others much more sane then I. Yet, here he stood.
he's just another bloodshot forget-me-not